Since I decided to tell people about my pregnancy, I've been surprised to receive a few negative comments. One of my coworkers actually frowned at me while I was proudly showing her my latest ultrasound picture, and then proceeded to lecture me about "babies having babies", and that young people only have children because they think it's cute.
She couldn't have been more wrong, and my feelings were very hurt by her statement. My husband and I decided to have children because we love each other, and we love children. We waited until we were married for 3 years before even thinking about trying to conceive. We both have stable jobs, good incomes, live in a safe neighborhood, etc.
My husband and I discussed what type of parenting style we would like to have long before I was pregnant. We're sort of granola in a way. I plan on cloth diapering, my husband is looking up how to make baby food, we are going to co-sleep, and baby wear, and I would love to have a natural delivery. My mom was very hands on with me and my siblings. My husband's parents were not. We both agree that we want our child to know that he or she is very loved, and feel safe, yet have very clear boundaries.
We don't plan on sitting our children in front of the TV, and feeding them McDonald's every day. We will encourage them to use their imagination, play outside, eat healthy food, be kind to others, and show respect.
When I explained this to my coworker, she seemed shocked, as if I were speaking a foreign language. Just because I'll only be 24 when my child is born, that doesn't mean that I'm ill equipped to parent. And I really don't think that 24 is considered 'too young' to have children.
I don't like when people assume things, it's not fair. I had a situation when I had my first ultrasound where the technician asked me if I planned my pregnancy. Of course I said, "Yes". She raised her eyebrow and had a funny look on her face. I asked her why, and she said that I should have gotten married first. I told her that I had been married for almost four years, and that my husband was in the waiting room. After the ultrasound was completed, she gave me a towel so I could clean myself up, and then disappeared. Later, I found out that she had went into the waiting room, and asked my husband what his last name was!! So I guess she thought I was lying.
My husband and I both look young for our ages. People usually think we're teenagers, so I try to be more understand when situations like this arise. But it still irritates me.
I'm not too naive to think that our lives won't change drastically once our child is born. I don't expect things to be necessarily "easy". I know there will be trying times, and that we'll have to work together as a team. I don't have any preconceived notions. I have a plan, but just like most plans, I know that things will come up and our plan may have to change. I may not be able to breastfeed for some reason, I may require a c-section during delivery, who knows what could happen. Anything is possible.
I do know that I want to be as informed as possible. I am reading about early childhood development, and birthing styles and techniques. I am also reading about breastfeeding and different options as far as holding the baby and getting him or her to latch properly. Knowledge is powerful. And I want to feel empowered for the remainder of my pregnancy, and as I raise my child.
