The Adventures in Sleep Training, Part 2

If I were to grade how things went last night, I'd give it a C-.

Yorlee slept in her crib for all of an hour before the waterworks began.  I swaddled her arms only (lightly) to give her more of a sense of security in hopes that she'd stay sleep longer.  It did seem to help, but once she busted out of them it was a wrap on the crib sleeping situation.

After nursing and some rocking, she fell asleep again, only to wake right back up when I laid her down.  Finally, she fell asleep in her swing.  But.... (and this is the part that makes me feel like a Bad Mama) I couldn't settle down in bed by myself, so after a few hours I picked her up and brought her to bed with me.  So now I feel like it's ME.  Like I'm the bad one here.  Everyone expects babies to sleep through the night, and sleep by themselves, and be all coos and smiles all the time.  But my baby isn't like that.  And it makes me feel like I'm failing....

I wasn't going to have her co sleep last night, honestly, but I started to feel all panicky.  My heart started racing and I felt like I needed to have her with me.  And I don't ignore those feelings.  She did sound really congested, so I'm actually glad that I had her close to me.  I'm going to try to put her in her pack n' play instead of her crib, so I can keep an eye on her.  Maybe being in the same room as us will help her relax.

I've been feeling like such a horrible parent these days.  I really want the best for Yorlee, and I try to do everything in my power to raise her right.  When she cries because someone else is holding her, or doesn't meet milestones that other babies in her age range are meeting, it makes me feel guilty.  And I think that a large part of that has to do with the fact that I work full time.  She's away from me Monday - Friday from 7AM - 4:30PM.  That's a long time.  Maybe that's why she doesn't want anyone but me sometimes?  Who knows...  She's doing really well though.  Her head control is awesome, we need to work on tummy time a little more because she's a lazy roller.  She'll do it, but only when she wants too.  Sometimes I put her on her belly and she immediately rolls over onto her back.  Yet others (and more often than not) she'll squirm around for a sec and then just drop her head down.  She's started sitting up by herself when I put she's on my lap.  And she reaches for EVERYTHING.  She grabbed the remote control and almost deleted some of my recorded programs yesterday.

I'm probably being hard on myself, but it's a struggle.  You want your kids to have the best, and do their best.

I'm a list maker, so here is a list of things that are on my mind currently:

1. The fact that Yorlee doesn't really have a set schedule.  Yes, it's nice to fly by the seat of our pants at times, but I feel like we should be more on a schedule.

2.  The fact that she cries every time someone other than me or my husband holds her.  I understand that she is learning to recognize us, but how long will this last?  People are always commenting on the fact that she doesn't want to go to anyone but us.

3.  The fact that she isn't the "put-her-down-in-her-crib-and-she-sweetly-babbles-herself-to-sleep" kind of baby.

4.  The fact that she wakes every night, without fail, at midnight and stays up until at least 2:30AM.

Here is my action plan:

1.  Follow her cues.  If I notice that she's tired, perform the same routine at the same time of day.  Example, if it's during the weekend (morning/afternoon)and she's tired.  Put her in her crib or pack n' play and play a quiet game with her.  If it's during the weekday/weekend (evening) and she's tired, do our normal sleep routine.  Bath, book, nurse, bed.

2.  Don't take her from someone immediately after she starts crying.  Allow them to attempt to soothe her.  If she has a tantrum or continues to cry for a few minutes, I'll take her from them, soothe her, and give her back.

3.  Stop trying to make her that baby, and work with her personality to find a sleep pattern that works for US.  She may never babble and coo herself to sleep.  And I should accept that and move on.

4.  Instead of picking her up and trying to soothe her back to sleep, I'm going to place her in her pack n' play and keep the room quiet and dark.  I'm going to try to reiterate the fact that night time is for sleeping.

I'm also going to make sure she has plenty of tummy time at home.  Maybe we'll incorporate that before or after her baths.

Yorlee is her own person.  I need to stop thinking that all babies are created equal.  And I need to stop letting the comments that other people make affect me.

(Whew!  Sorry for being so "wordy", I guess I had a lot on my chest!  Kudos to you if you read the whole thing, LOL!!)

THE milestone.... 37 weeks = FULL TERM!!!!!!

I'm on such a high today.  WE MADE IT!  My body held Bunny in until she was FULL TERM!  As I'm typing this with one hand, because the other one is on my belly, feeling my sweet little girl roll around almost as if she's celebrating with me.  We did it, we made it!!!  I'm so excited, and I'm SO ready to meet this little one.  Surprisingly, it still feels so surreal to me.  I can't wait to see her face, hear her cry, look into her eyes, and say, "Hi, I'm your Mommy."  The thought just brings tears to my eyes.  I still pray that she remains safe in there and is born healthy.

I'm going to have a baby!!!  Ahhhh!!  I'm still in disbelief, but I'm so excited!!!

Now on to the 37 week (FULL TERM) update!


How far along? 37 weeks!!  I've reached my LAST milestone, now on to delivery!!

Total weight gain/loss: Not sure, I don't think I gained very much this past week.

Sleep: Still great only if I'm propped up.  I have this weird pain at the top of my belly that radiates through my upper back.  I had a urinalysis done not too long ago, so I'm not worried about it being a UTI or anything.  I think it may be Bunny's foot or something, because I don't feel it all the time.  I'm bringing it up at my appointment on Thursday.

Food cravings: Still whatever I see on TV.  And loads of sweets.  I actually have to stop myself from purchasing junk food when at the store.  It's sad.... LOL!

Best moment this week: Making it to full term!!  Oh, and deciding after ONE day back to work that I'd rather be at home.  My boss was so sweet and let me take the rest of the time off.  Hopefully my midwife will take me back off.  We'll see.

Movement: Definitely!  She has her active periods, and her rest periods.  I'm really noticing a pattern right now.  Which may mean that she's going to be up from 10PM until about 1AM when she's born.  I'll be sure to assign my husband that shift.  HA!

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks.  TONS of them.  And they're getting more intense and make me feel like I can't breathe.  I literally have them all day.  And they hurt.  Now I'm worried that my plan to go "natural" won't happen, because if real labor contractions hurt WORSE than these, I'm in trouble!!


Gender: From what I can tell she's still a girl, LOL!  I still have dreams that she's a boy, I really hope my dreams are wrong!

Stretchies: No new ones...

Belly Button in or out? Still slightly out, it still hasn't "popped" yet, not sure if it will at this point.

What I miss: Absolutely nothing.


What I am looking forward to: My midwife appointment, and going into labor!  I really hope it's soon because I'm so ready to see this little girl!

Symptoms: The usual pregnancy discomforts, Braxton Hicks, mild swelling, frequent urination, irritability, etc.

Milestones: Hitting 37 weeks.  I still hope and pray that Bunny is safe and healthy.  I'm so excited!!

Weekly wisdom: Don't force yourself to go back to work.  LOL!  I did that and only lasted ONE measly day.  Oh well, I had to do what's best for my baby and my body.

Emotions: Good, I think I'm starting to nest.  I've been cleaning all morning, and don't see it stopping anytime soon.  Hopefully that means that Bunny will be on her way soon!!