Adventures in Sleep Training, Part Oh, Whatever!!!

As you can probably tell from the title, sleep training is a little bit frustrating.... (Understatement of the year.)

Yorlee was doing SO well, I'm not sure when things went sour.  For the past few days, she's been absolutely refusing to sleep in her crib.  My neck hurts, my back hurts, and my head hurts.  She's also getting harder to put down for the night.  She does the old "fake out", where you think she's sleep, but then BAM! eyes pop open and it's playtime again.

Yesterday I decided to really buckle down and try to get things under control.  When I got home from work, we went and ran errands as a family.  I gave Yorlee a bottle in the car, and noticed she was rubbing her eyes, her cue for being sleepy.  We had a few more stops to make, and I could tell she was started to crank it up.  I popped her pacifier in her mouth and her eyes immediately dropped, but of course she sprang them right back open.

Once we made it home, I put her in her Bebo chair and tried to get some dinner in her.  I think she ate like 4 bites before refusing any more.  My husband put her on the floor in the living room and played with her (it was around 6PM) until she started fussing.  I knew she was about to get overtired, so I decided to give her a quick bath, rub down with lotion, and nurse her.  As soon as she latched on, she was out!  I held her for a few minutes to make sure she was sleep and then I transferred her to her crib.  She slept for around an hour before she work up SCREAMING!!

My husband went in and tried to console her.  She wasn't having it.  I could hear her screams getting louder as he came into our room and said, "Can you please take her, I can't get her to stop screaming."  She didn't want to nurse, didn't want to play, didn't want to do anything.  That's when I knew what I had to do.  I had to take her back to her room and put her in her crib.  She was going to fuss regardless.  I put her down, turned on her bear that plays music, gave her a blanket, and popped her paci in her mouth.  As soon as I left the room she started crying.  My husband went in and rubbed her belly.  She was calm for a few minutes and then the screaming started again.  I went in and she quieted down.  I didn't say anything to her, I just let her know that I was there by rubbing her head and her belly.  I stayed in there for about 10 minutes and I could see her eyes slowly closing.  When I would try to sneak out, she'd wake up again.  Finally, I determined that I should put her on her side (the way she sleeps when she's in bed with me) and let her cuddle her bear.  As soon as I did that, she was out!!  She slept for about four hours before waking.

Here's where I messed up....

Instead of nursing her or giving her a bottle and putting her back in her crib, I brought her to our bed.

I'm going to work on that part.  What do you think?  Any suggestions? 

The Adventures in Sleep Training (Pt. 3)

Yorlee has been spending a least half of the night in her crib since Sunday.  I must admit, I really enjoy being able to stretch out in my bed every night!

Her daycare provider has been keeping her up during the day, and it has really made a difference.  Before, they would let her sleep all day, so when she came home she wasn't really tired.  Now, she is on a schedule.  I think that the consistancy has definitely helped her remain more calm and content.

She is really changing.  Her personality is much more calm now that she knows that she can sleep in her crib, and I will come back to her when she needs me.  I think the way it worked out is much better than the Cry It Out method.  Sure, I still have to put her to sleep before she is placed in her crib, but if you look at where we started, things are going great!

One other thing that has made a difference is that I started to eliminate dairy from my diet, and we switched her to Soy formula.  Her pediatrician and I noticed that she was breaking out with rashes and looked like she had eczema.  She also was more fussy, although she wasn't spitting up, it seems like she has a milk allergy.  We are not 100% sure, but she has been happier and sleeping better, so either way it's been a positive change.  Her skin rashes are healing, and the discoloration on her face is fading.  She is still nursing, but due to demands at my job I wasn't able to pump regularly enough to keep an adequate supply.  I stopped pumping at work and only nurse her when I'm at home with her and during the weekends.  My "mommy guilt" isn't so bad because she's still getting my milk, and my nerves aren't so bad because I don't have to pump at work.  Sometimes I try to pump extra on the weekends so I can send a bottle or two to daycare with her, but if I don't do it, I don't feel horrible.

All in all, things are smoothing out for us.

As a side note, Vick's Baby Rub works WONDERS!  I put a nice coating on the bottom of Yorlee's feet when she had a cold last week and covered it with her socks.  She was able to breathe so much better and was less congested.  It may sound weird, but it works.  Her pediatrician recommends it also.  Just make sure you don't use regular Vick's.

Have a great day!

The Adventures in Sleep Training (Pt. 3)

Well....  Yorlee is still sleeping in the bed with me most nights.  Sometimes, she sleeps in her swing, and occasionally will nap in her crib.  Once she figures out that she's alone, the waterworks begin and she has a tantrum.  We're going to keep working in it.

I tried the advice that some of you gave me.  Lalla, I put her down when she started to show that she was tired.  It was 7PM.  She went out like a light, I was so excited!!  Then she woke back up at 8:30PM, I nursed her and she fell asleep with me.  She woke again at midnight, and stayed up til 4AM!!!  I couldn't believe it.  In between that time I rocked her, kissed her, sang to her, bounced her, nursed her, etc.  I was trying everything I could think of to get her down.  She finally went to sleep at 4:20(ish)PM.  And I had to get up for the day at 5AM.  Needless to say, I drank a ton of coffee that day.  Keri, I had my husband put her down and it worked a few times.  She doesn't stay sleep for long though.

She's been on more solids lately.  I give her rice cereal everyday, she loves it!  She tries to slurp it off the spoon, and grabs the spoon when I'm trying to clean her face with it.  It cracks me up.  My husband made her some homemade peas.  She ate them up!  I was surprised because neither of us like them.  But she gobbled them down.

That's all I can think of for now.  I'll post again soon!

The Adventures in Sleep Training, Part 2

If I were to grade how things went last night, I'd give it a C-.

Yorlee slept in her crib for all of an hour before the waterworks began.  I swaddled her arms only (lightly) to give her more of a sense of security in hopes that she'd stay sleep longer.  It did seem to help, but once she busted out of them it was a wrap on the crib sleeping situation.

After nursing and some rocking, she fell asleep again, only to wake right back up when I laid her down.  Finally, she fell asleep in her swing.  But.... (and this is the part that makes me feel like a Bad Mama) I couldn't settle down in bed by myself, so after a few hours I picked her up and brought her to bed with me.  So now I feel like it's ME.  Like I'm the bad one here.  Everyone expects babies to sleep through the night, and sleep by themselves, and be all coos and smiles all the time.  But my baby isn't like that.  And it makes me feel like I'm failing....

I wasn't going to have her co sleep last night, honestly, but I started to feel all panicky.  My heart started racing and I felt like I needed to have her with me.  And I don't ignore those feelings.  She did sound really congested, so I'm actually glad that I had her close to me.  I'm going to try to put her in her pack n' play instead of her crib, so I can keep an eye on her.  Maybe being in the same room as us will help her relax.

I've been feeling like such a horrible parent these days.  I really want the best for Yorlee, and I try to do everything in my power to raise her right.  When she cries because someone else is holding her, or doesn't meet milestones that other babies in her age range are meeting, it makes me feel guilty.  And I think that a large part of that has to do with the fact that I work full time.  She's away from me Monday - Friday from 7AM - 4:30PM.  That's a long time.  Maybe that's why she doesn't want anyone but me sometimes?  Who knows...  She's doing really well though.  Her head control is awesome, we need to work on tummy time a little more because she's a lazy roller.  She'll do it, but only when she wants too.  Sometimes I put her on her belly and she immediately rolls over onto her back.  Yet others (and more often than not) she'll squirm around for a sec and then just drop her head down.  She's started sitting up by herself when I put she's on my lap.  And she reaches for EVERYTHING.  She grabbed the remote control and almost deleted some of my recorded programs yesterday.

I'm probably being hard on myself, but it's a struggle.  You want your kids to have the best, and do their best.

I'm a list maker, so here is a list of things that are on my mind currently:

1. The fact that Yorlee doesn't really have a set schedule.  Yes, it's nice to fly by the seat of our pants at times, but I feel like we should be more on a schedule.

2.  The fact that she cries every time someone other than me or my husband holds her.  I understand that she is learning to recognize us, but how long will this last?  People are always commenting on the fact that she doesn't want to go to anyone but us.

3.  The fact that she isn't the "put-her-down-in-her-crib-and-she-sweetly-babbles-herself-to-sleep" kind of baby.

4.  The fact that she wakes every night, without fail, at midnight and stays up until at least 2:30AM.

Here is my action plan:

1.  Follow her cues.  If I notice that she's tired, perform the same routine at the same time of day.  Example, if it's during the weekend (morning/afternoon)and she's tired.  Put her in her crib or pack n' play and play a quiet game with her.  If it's during the weekday/weekend (evening) and she's tired, do our normal sleep routine.  Bath, book, nurse, bed.

2.  Don't take her from someone immediately after she starts crying.  Allow them to attempt to soothe her.  If she has a tantrum or continues to cry for a few minutes, I'll take her from them, soothe her, and give her back.

3.  Stop trying to make her that baby, and work with her personality to find a sleep pattern that works for US.  She may never babble and coo herself to sleep.  And I should accept that and move on.

4.  Instead of picking her up and trying to soothe her back to sleep, I'm going to place her in her pack n' play and keep the room quiet and dark.  I'm going to try to reiterate the fact that night time is for sleeping.

I'm also going to make sure she has plenty of tummy time at home.  Maybe we'll incorporate that before or after her baths.

Yorlee is her own person.  I need to stop thinking that all babies are created equal.  And I need to stop letting the comments that other people make affect me.

(Whew!  Sorry for being so "wordy", I guess I had a lot on my chest!  Kudos to you if you read the whole thing, LOL!!)

The Adventures in Sleep Training (Pt. 1)

Thank you all for your comments!  While the "Cry It Out" method isn't the best one for my family, we've decided that we do need an action plan.

Last night, after Yorlee was comfortably settled in her PJ's, I took her into the living room to nurse her.  Now this is completely different from our normal routine.  Usually, I put her in her PJ's, I change into my lounge clothes, and then I nurse her in my bed while I catch up on my DVR.  I think that association of being in the bed to nurse, and sleeping in bed with Mommy needed to be severed.

I could tell she was confused about our new surroundings.  I hadn't nursed her in the living room in ages.  I'd always go to the bedroom.  She was looking around trying to figure everything out.  After she fell asleep nursing, I picked her up, burped her, and offered the other side.  When she had her fill and was drifting off to sleep again, I put her in her crib.  To keep her from waking up, I rubbed her belly and put my face on her face.  She immediately quieted down and went back to sleep.

Sadly, it only lasted 45 minutes, but it was some improvement for us.  When she woke back up, my husband rocked her back to sleep and placed her back in her crib.  She cried for a few two minutes and went back to sleep.  Then she woke again after 14 minutes.  I went to her and rocked her again.  She wasn't having it.  Full out temper tantrum.  Once she calmed down, I nursed her again.  She was still upset, so my husband took over and I went to bed.  He was able to get her to sleep and put her in her swing.  She stayed sleep in there until about 2:30AM.  I nursed her in bed and she slept with me until it was time for me to get my day started.

Baby steps.  That's what we're doing.  We plan to get her some sort of crib soother/projector this weekend.  Hopefully she'll enjoy her crib more that way.

Sleep issues

Awhile ago I posted mentioning that I was trying to get Yorlee out of our bed.  Well, I'm STILL trying.  The problem is that I have to commit to it.  I have a love/hate relationship with co sleeping.

The pros are:
 - Love being able to cuddle with my princess.
 - Love being able to soothe her without either of us waking up.
 - Love looking down at her sweet face.
 - Love being able to spend time with her after working all day.

The cons are:
 - Not being able to get a good nights sleep.
 - Not being able to pull my covers up around my shoulders (I keep then waist level so that she can't pull them over her head.)
 - Not being able to cuddle with my husband (Yorlee doesn't just sleep with me, she pretty much sleeps ON me.  She has to be right next to me, pressed up against me to sleep.)
 - Not having any time to myself.
 - Her not being able to sooth herself.
 - She has to nurse herself to sleep.

I'm sure there are more pros and cons that I can't recall at the moment.

After scouring the internet for advice, my husband and I finally decided to let her cry it out.  It was horrible!  We only lasted 30 minutes, and that felt like forever.  The books/experts recommend a full hour.  But it was such an exhausting experience.  I'm not sure if we'll try again.

Something has to change though.  We've tried nearly everything; warming up a blanket to place in her crib before laying her down, colorful toys that sing, placing her in her crib after she's sleep, rubbing/patting her back, etc.  She sleeps soundly at daycare, which boggles my mind.  Well, really it doesn't.  I'm not there with her and she knows that, so I think she has the self soothing capability, but doesn't exercise it at home.  She also sleeps in her Rock & Play sleeper at daycare.

She also has started waking up numerous times at night, which I attribute to teething.  But it's the same time every night, and it takes her about two hours to go back to sleep.  We've implemented a solid night time routine, in the hopes that it'll help get her back on track.  But I'm exhausted...

Co-sleeping

We co-sleep.  It didn't start out intentionally, I was too paranoid when we first brought Yorlee home from the hospital to put her down.  I would sleep sitting up, and hold her in my arms with the Boppy pillow supporting us.  It was the ONLY way I could sleep, I had to be able to see her chest rise and fall, and feel her skin.  It also helped my milk production because she was constantly nursing so my body was able to notice that I needed to produce more milk.

As time went on, it was just more convenient.  I can sleep and nurse her at the same time, she can feel secure, I can check on her without budging, etc.

But now, I'm ready to have my bed back.

My quality of sleep is poor.  The slightest movement from her, and I'm up.  And the slightest movement from me, she's up.  Neither of us are getting a good nights rest.  I was able to sneak out of bed yesterday without her waking and she slept like a rock.  However, she started SCREAMING when she realized that her usual endless supply of milk was no where to be found.  I saw her rooting in her sleep, and instead of picking her up I watched to see what she would do.  She whimpered, turned her head from side to side, opened her mouth, and kept sticking her tongue out.  All attempts to get milk.  Usually when I'm laying next to her all she has to do is whimper and I start nursing her.  Finally, she opened her eyes and noticed I wasn't there and she hollered.

I'm going to start sleep training her this weekend, but I know that the hardest part will be teaching her to adjust to not having a nightly buffet.  Honestly, I don't feel as though she eats at night out of hunger, I think she knows that I'm there and that milk is available so she uses it as a method to soothe.

Hopefully we are able to figure things out so that I can start stretching out in my bed once again.