Ramblings, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs....

Okay folks, there comes a point where one simply cannot keep ones thoughts in ones head.  (If you haven't yet figured it out, the one I'm referring to is ME.)  I've been sitting on this post for WEEKS, and just now gathered the courage to click PUBLISH.

I've read blogs where the authors ranted about things that were bothering them, and more often than not, left comments applauding them on their bravery.  Encouraging them to continue to say what they believe, mean what they say, and overlook anyone who said otherwise.  Well, my friends, now it is my turn.  Please note that it is not my intention to offend anyone, I just have to express myself.

The statement below is what I am referring to in this post:
"It was all in God's plan."

That statement hurts my heart.  Especially when it is used to reference some type of sickness, or loss, or devastation.

Before I started reading blogs, I must have been ignorant to the fact that people truly believed that God was the driving force behind them losing a child, or a relative, or being terminally ill, or infertile.  I've touched on this briefly in a previous post, but that just wasn't enough to allow me to feel satiated.

I just can't grasp how God can have qualities such as mercy, compassion, justice, grace, loving-kindness, etc., yet cause His children pain.  When I look at Yorlee, I want to do what is best for her, in every way that I can.  I will give her the best that I can, but ultimately the decision is hers when it comes to how she will live her life.  I believe that what we, as human beings, are currently experiencing is pain and suffering.  Why that choice of words?  Because suffering does not discriminate.  In circumstances where a woman who is addicted to illegal substances gets pregnant, and a woman who has been married for 5 years, goes to work every day, has a stable home, and means to provide is greeted with infertility, I chose not to believe that God chose those paths for them.  I do not believe that it was His plan.  I believe that both of those women are imperfect, and that is what caused their situations.

God created the human race to fulfill the earth and subdue it.  Humans were perfect when they were created, however Adam and Eve chose to disobey, and we are faced with the consequences.  I can't really comprehend why God would create the earth, and humans, to live in a paradise, and then snatch it away.  I wouldn't take Yorlee to Chuck E. Cheese's, let her see all of the flashing lights, hear the whooping of bells and the laughter of children, smell the freshly baked pizza, see all of the brightly colored prizes; and then right as she attempts to run and play, snatch her back and lead her back out the door while telling her it was Mommy's plan to see the sad look on her face as she walks away empty handed.

Do you get where I'm coming from?

I recently came across a blog where I read, "God gave me infertility", and it honestly broke my heart.  I felt so deeply for the person that wrote that.

My mother passed when I was 12 years old.  I can't imagine where I would be in life if I believed that God took her away from me purposefully.  Honestly, how mean would that be?  My mother passing away was simply because she was ill, in many different ways.  She was human.

To those of you who believe that the negative things that happen in our lives was due to God's plan, what caused you to believe that way?

The bible counts of times where Jesus healed the sick and raised the dead.  So in those instances, what was God's plan?  To cause them to be sick and die, only to have them healed and resurrected?  When babies are stillborn, what was His plan?  To have the parents anxiously and happily anticipate their new arrival, only to be devastated?  To watch as their friends and family members try to console them, unsuccessfully?

When a young child loses both parents in a tragic car crash, what was God's plan?  To punish the child?  To make the child appreciate the parents more?

I apologize for the nature of this post, but it was consuming me.  I had to express my thoughts and feelings.

If you are a parent, are your plans for your child(ren) not in the most loving of nature?  I wake up every day wanting the best for my daughter.  If she hurts, I hurt.  If she is sick, I care for her.  If she is sad, I comfort her.  That is what parents do.  Their "plan" is for their children to be happy and successful.  So to those who are "Children of God", why would it be any different?

I have so many other thoughts and opinions, but I think I've gotten enough off of my chest for now...