Of course I went out and bought all the pregnancy books once I found out I was pregnant. Well, many of them I already had, but a few new ones were added to the collection.
Every week my husband and I go through and read about what's going on with the baby, and my body. It helps keep us informed, and bond with the baby. We both knew I'd be emotional, possibly swollen, and gaining weight. But lately I've been feeling this overwhelming fear of something happening to my husband. I may have mentioned it before, but it's really bad today. Actually, lately it's gotten worse. It's to the point that if he doesn't answer his phone I completely freak out. If I can't see his chest rising and falling when he sleeps I wake him up. I can think about him and start bawling. Maybe it's my hormones preparing me to check on Bunny when she's born and make sure that she's okay. I'm not sure.
My husband usually drops me off at work so we don't have to pay for parking, and so I don't have to walk by myself to my building. It's POURING down rain today, the roads are bad, and I'm highly emotional. I'm freaking out about something happening to my husband during his drive to work.
I'm slightly concerned about this because it's so out of character for me. Usually my personality is laid back, and I don't get stressed very easily. So for me to get worked up over things that aren't even confirmed is kind of scary. And I think that fact that I watched 'The Time Traveler's Wife' on Monday made it even worse. I hope these feelings go away after Bunny is born, I can't imagine feeling like this forever...
4 comments:
I would encourage you to talk with someone about this. A counselor could shade light on your feelings and give more insight. I know some moms who have PPD have some of these fears. Not saying that's what you have, but I wouldn't ignore it if it's consuming you like this. Just expressing it out loud to someone with more insight could help. All the best to you.
I am doing the same thing! At night time I will literally check his pulse if I can't see him breathing and I start to "what if" and get near panic attacks.
You're not alone my dear!
Don't worry, God is the caretaker of us humans and he is/will take care of your DH and Bunny. Always have faith.
Lately I am less tolerant toward some people, especially those who make stupid joke that make me wonder if they are trying to force Hubby and I break apart. I don't find those jokes funny, just hurtful. I am getting older and it is time for them to be grown up too.
I guess, it is caused by hormones, but lately I am more moody and get upset easily. It must be due to the upcoming visit of AF. Or... ( I don't dare be too hopeful in case of another negative, ¬).
Though, with me faith is the last to die, :P!
A big hug,
MsBabyPlan
Wow. WOW. I could have written this a few nights ago. I constantly pray for his safety and worry about the "what if's". I am glad to know i am not alone!
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