12 Week Survey

(I'm a day late in writing this post, I hit 12 weeks yesterday.)

How far along? 12 weeks and one day!  Still in shock, can't believe time is flying by this fast.

Total weight gain/loss: -9 lbs.  I want to stay in shape with this pregnancy, mainly because I have no choice but to chase a toddler around.  But, knowing the truth about pregnancy, I probably won't feel like doing much about my "shape" in a few months time.
Sleep: I still get slammed with fatigue at times, but it isn't nearly as bad as it was.  I actually stayed up to 10PM this week.  My husband was so surprised!
Food cravings: A major change occurred, I'm now hungry ALL.THE.TIME!  And thirsty!  Thankfully I'm at the point where more often than not I feel pretty good after eating.  But on Wednesday I did have a huge case of nausea that pretty much lasted all day.  Not craving anything in particular though, just want FOOD!
Best moment this week:  Hearing movement via my doppler.  I'm SO glad that I bought it when I was pregnant with Yorlee.  Give me a bit of reassurance that all is progressing well.
Movement: I thought I felt some taps, but still think its too early for that.
Gender: No clue.

Labor Signs: No way!!!!!

Belly Button in or out? Puffy in some areas.  My stomach is definitely filling out a bit, and my poor belly button is taking a beating.  I've noticed that in the evenings, when I feel especially bloated, it starts to feel really tender.
What I miss: Being able to somewhat control my emotions, being a tummy sleeper, buttoning my jeans, having energy.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing the baby again.  We have another ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday.  We weren't able to get some measurements for the first trimester screen during our last ultrasound, so we go back again.  Score!
Milestones: Letting go of fears and worries.  Babies are such a precious gift, so I decided that I'm going to enjoy being a mom of two and kick my worries to the curb.
Weekly Wisdom: Friends and family can be very useful tools if you allow them to be.  After a few venting sessions with some friends of mine, I was able to get things off my chest and really start to relax.  We will figure out the daycare/work situation, I will have time for both kids, I will love both kids, etc. 

Finding out about Baby V 2.0

I have to be honest here and say that this pregnancy was a complete shock.  It took me awhile to grasp things, but now I'm excited (yet still a bit scared) about bringing another baby into our lives.
We found out on February 23rd.  AF was due to start that day, and I was sure she was on her way.  Absolutely no symptoms of pregnancy were present, however, I wasn't looking for them so may not have noticed.  Usually I'm greeted by AF first thing in the morning, so I thought it was odd when she hadn't arrived by lunch, but as things can get a bit off every now and then, didn't think too much of it.

Yorlee had been extremely clingy the past few days, and I had been a bit tired, but it's hard to sleep when your 20+lb toddler wants to sleep ON you.  On the drive home from work and picking up Yorlee from daycare, I passed my exit ramp.  It took me an extra 30 minutes to drive home.  I NEVER pass my exit, I think it's embedded in my brain.  Usually I'm on autopilot when driving home, so I thought that was weird too.  Once we got, I went to check to see if AF arrived.  Nada.  Yorlee wanted milk so I went to get some for her and walked back to the bathroom to turn off the light, when I got the idea to pee in a cup and dip an old OPK.  I searched and searched for the cup that came with my OPKs and finally found it and washed it out because it was dusty.  By that time, I had to go so bad I almost forgot to use the cup!  I dipped the OPK and before I could set it down on the counter it was positive.  I remember saying, "Hmm, I didn't expect that."  But I really didn't think that the OPK as HPT thing worked.  I had an internet cheapie HPT, so I dipped that.  Cue a faint line.  Like, so faint you have to squint and go cross-eyed while wondering if you are making it up.  But still, it was a line.  That's when I decided to pull out the big guns.  A Clearblue Digital.  I had one left from when I was pregnant with Yorlee, but I couldn't find it.  I knew I hadn't used it.  After searching in the linen closet, and under the sink, I finally found it.  My hands were shaking when I pulled off the wrapper and dipped it.  The timer started to blink on the display and I started pacing.  After what seemed like 20 minutes, I saw words on the screen out of the corner of my eye.  I snatched the test off the counter and there it was, clear as day, "Pregnant".  I think my legs gave out on me and I landed on the side of the tub.  With trembling fingers I called my husband.  No answer.  I called him again, and when he answered I said, "You need to come home, I'm pregnant!"  Classy huh?  LOL!  We both were trying to figure out exactly when it happened as we had been careful (so we thought), and I was freaking out because I thought my husband was going to be upset but he was actually really happy.

So there you have it, the story of how we found out that our family of three was about to become a family of four...

11 Weeks!

Baby V 2.0 measuring 10w3d (I was actually 10w5d at the time).

11 Weeks!

How far along? 11 weeks.

Total weight gain/loss: -10 lbs (I still can't believe that I've lost that much weight!)

Sleep: I'm sleepy ALL.THE.TIME! Thank goodness that the Hubs is so great, he takes Yorlee so I can go to bed at 7:30PM.  And I still wake up tired!  Can't wait to get some energy back!

Food cravings: Nothing, food still isn't really my friend.

Best moment this week: Seeing baby via ultrasound on Tuesday.  It's always so reassuring to know that things are going well.

Movement: Nada.

Gender: No clue.

Labor Signs: No way!!!!!

Belly Button in or out? It's weird, the bottom is puffed out a bit, but the top is still in.  I have a feeling that it is going to pop this time...

What I miss: Not feeling sick every day, brushing my teeth without gagging, eating a normal meal, not being hungry every 5 seconds while simultaneously being nauseous, being able to function without feeling like a zombie.

What I am looking forward to: Hitting the honeymoon phase, I can't wait!

Milestones: Going public with this pregnancy.

Weekly Wisdom: Rest, stay hydrated, and enjoy every moment.

Hugs and love to all of the ladies out there who are trying to become pregnant.  And a huge thank you to everyone who congratulated us!  :-)

Growing

Yorlee is growing by leaps and bounds.  I'm really starting to see what people meant when they told me that children are like sponges and soak up everything.  They watch what we do and immitate our actions.  It amazes me to see Yorlee act like me, or put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket.  She takes note of what we do, and tries to do it herself.  My big girl!

She says a new word every day.  I was making funny faces at her yesterday, and she laughed and said, "Silly!".   It was clear as day, I'd never heard her say that before, and she used it in the right context.  If she wakes up before I do on the weekends, she calls out, "milk, Ma Ma!" and If I don't answer her in time she will yell, "eat, eat!!!!" until I hear her and go get her out of her crib so we can get her milk.  She cracks me up.

Actually, our family has lots of growing going on.  As I've seen quoted all over the internet, "Our family is growing by two feet!"  Baby V 2.0 is on board and estimated to arrive around November 1st, 2012.  I am currently 11 weeks pregnant (as of today actually), and we are really excited.  Of course there are always worries when children are involved, I'm concerned how Yorlee will feel about someone else getting attention from Mommy and Daddy, but I know that things will work out.  We have lots to do to prepare for this little one, and I can't wait to start crossing things off of our list.  I also can't wait to get to the "honeymoon" phase of this pregnancy, as I have been really sick this time around.  But the baby is doing great!  We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and I was amazed at how much growth happened in the few short weeks between my last ultrasound.  I'll try to get pictures up as soon as I can.  And I guess I should get started on pregnancy surveys as well.  I really enjoyed going back and reading them after Yorlee was born, now I know to put more details because a lot was left out.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Anyone out there?

Wow!  I had NO idea that I was gone from blogging this long.  Time flies when you're having fun!

We recently took family pictures at Olan Mills studio, and I thought that I'd share a few.  Yorlee is about to be 15 months old, and she is SO MUCH FUN!  Seriously, I love this stage.  Even though it keeps me busy.  She repeats everything, and thinks that she is a big girl.

I hope everyone is doing well.  I plan to start blogging more frequently again.

Here are our pictures (which are copyrighted):

Updated pictures

Untitled

I couldn't think of a clever title for this post!  Probably because it's been so long since I've written anything.

Yorlee is growing by leaps and bounds.  She repeats everything that we say, and is SOO close to walking.  Seriously, I think it'll be any day now.  She eats what we eat, is completely off of her pacifier, and nearly transitioned to sippy cups.  I just adore her, she is such a joy!

We have been discussing when and IF we should have another baby.  I have several concerns about adding to our family, which are (not in any particular order):

1. The financial strain of two children.  Especially if I continue to work (which is pretty much unavoidable at the moment), because we already pay over $500 a month for childcare.  So paying $1000 would be really difficult.
2.  The effect it would have on our marriage.  I already spend a lot of time with Yorlee.  Adding a newborn to the mix that I would more than likely be nursing, seems like it would leave little time to spend with my husband.  Sometimes we have days where we don't actually physically touch at all.  ALL DAY.  I'm not used to that.

3.  How Yorlee would handle not being the center of attention.  She LOVES to sit between my husband and I and talk to us and go from one lap to another.  I can tell that when she gets home from daycare, she loves the fact that there aren't any other children at home.  She goes from toy to toy just talking and laughing.  It's the cutest thing in the world!

4.  How I would deal with more body changes.  Yeah, go ahead and call me vain, but I never realized what a toll pregnancy and childbirth would take on my body.  I STILL have tailbone/lower back pain.  Not to mention the fact that I will probably never wear a bikini again...  Oh well, it's a minor issue, but still...

My goal is to find a high paying part time job, that way I can still assist with household expenses, and spend time with my munchkin.  I love, love, love that little girl!  And we've always said that if we have one, we'd try for another one.  We may be ready in a year or so, but I'd like to have a plan of action in the works.

Zumba - 1, Mrs. V - 0

I've been talking to my husband about going back to Zumba classes for quite some time.  Finally, yesterday was the day.  I was so excited that instead of wearing my usual workout gear, I went and purchased a new outfit.

Trying to show how good a student I can be, I arrived at the class early.  I took a spot in the middle, did a few stretches to look like I knew what the heck I was doing, and smiled at everyone that came in.

The instructor arrived happy and full of energy.  The class begin and my form was perfect!  Flawless.  I was doing the Cha-Cha and shimmying my behind off.  When it came time to do push ups, I was cranking them out.  Usually I'm not a upper body strength kind of girl, but it came out of somewhere and I was doing push ups like never before.  My smile was still there, and the bounce in my step was still as strong as ever.

And then it happened....  I started to lose my steam.  I pushed harder for a few minutes and then I knew it.  I was done for.  My chest was burning, ears were ringing, legs were screaming, I could not take anymore.  With my head held high, I glanced at the clock.  I just KNEW that the hour was almost up, if I were a gambling person, I'd have bet money on it.  My heart dropped to my toes when I realized that only 20 minutes had passed.

The instructor turned around to change the song, and I hightailed it the heck out of there!!!  My hair was glued to my forehead, and my cute new workout outfit had turned into a wet suit.

On my way home I remembered that Hubby had just bought a tub of ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery, and I put the pedal to the metal.  LOL!

So, Zumba, you win for now.  But one day, I will defeat you (and stop eating ice cream)! 

"Rolling in the deep..."

Be prepared folks, this post is going to be a little deep...

(I just love Adele!  If you haven't heard her song, "Rolling in the deep" you are seriously missing out, YOUTUBE it!!)

I'll tell you a little secret that I learned during my 9 (nearly 10) months of being a mother.  And it is....

Be honest with yourself.

Seriously.  When you feel like you can't handle everything, admit and and accept it.  It'll help you feel more sane, and in turn, you will start to prioritize and end up getting EVERYTHING accomplished.

Now, it's my turn to be honest:

I seem to be lacking self-esteem in the "Mommy Department".  I often doubt that I'm doing a great job as a Mom.  True, I am giving Yorlee my best.  But the doubt in the back of my head that my best isn't good enough for her, tries to control my mind sometimes.

I think it comes from feeling that I don't have support.  And I don't mean that my friends, fellow bloggers, and family aren't being supportive.  Because you are!  They are!  But, because I don't have parents of my own that I can go to, who really GET IT, it makes me feel incomplete.  You know?  Well, maybe you don't.  This is where it gets deep...

My mom committed suicide when I was 12 years old.  Tragic.  I know.  It was terrible.  The guilt and the 'what ifs' consumed me for years.  Yes, I know it wasn't my fault.  But it did make me wish I had hugged her a little tighter, appreciated her a little more, not have been embarrassed, etc.  My father?  Never in the picture.  Yup, I was one of those kids.  What do I mean by that?  Low-income, single parent family, barely making it, user of your tax dollars - kids.  I didn't know that growing up, my childhood was just as happy and fulfilling as it could be.  My mom was AWESOME!  Although we struggled financially at times, she taught us poise, confidence, respect, and intellect.  My siblings and I were some of the brightest, kindest, most eager kids in our classes.  Our teachers still remember us to this day.

The fact that my mom did so much for FIVE children on her own, astonishes me. 
I have moments when I would love to say, "Mom, what did you do when such-and-such happened?"  But I can't.  And that makes me feel so alone at times.  I would love to be able to have my Mom's advice.  I would love to hear about how she taught me to be who I am today.  How she juggled being my Mom, Dad, and teacher, while providing my siblings with the same.  How did she do it?!?

I've tried to reach out to my mother-in-law.  She's a nice person, but she's cut from different fabric.  And it's not bad fabric, it's just not the material that I would like my daughter to be adorned with for the rest of her life.  She is more concerned with appearance and entertainment, than personality or morals.  I believe that it's what is on the inside that truly counts.  And I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to look nice, and want nice things.  I'm just saying that if I were to pass away tomorrow, I wouldn't want people to say, "Wow, that's so sad, she wore such trendy clothes and her house was beautifully decorated."  Or, "I'll really miss her, she always had the cutest shoes on, and her car was so nice!"  Instead, I'd love for people to say, "I wish she were still here, she was so nice and caring."  Or, "I learned a lot from her, she helped me become a better person."

I really hope that I'm raising Yorlee to be an amazing person.  I often question if I'm teaching her the right things, providing the correct discipline, being a good enough example, demonstrating patience and understanding, etc.

All I can do is give her my all, and hope for the best.

"No honey, it's not nice to slap Mommy!!!"

Am I the only one that has to constantly repeat that phrase?

Lately, Yorlee has been finding exquisite delight in trying to slap the taste out of my mouth.  It started playfully enough, I thought she was figuring out that by using her hand and another object, she can make a sound.  Maybe I'm foolish, but I didn't think it would cause a problem letting her sneak a little slap in here and there.

We were in Walmart (one of my favs) the other day buying a cool mist vaporizer for her room.  I forgot her cart cover and she was flopping to one side so I took her out and carried her while my husband pushed the cart.  We walked past two women, and they smiled politely at us and were going to keep walking until Yorlee flashed her gummy grin at them and reached out.  Of course they couldn't resist (who could?! LOL!) and ran over to us.  After asking me her name and how old she is, one of the ladies reached up and tickled Yorlee.  Her reaction?  A belly laugh, and a double handed slap to Mommy's face.  The woman said, "Oh, dear, are you okay?", and I smiled and laughed it off.  She looked so concerned.

Last night, while I was trying to put her to bed, she was fighting me.  I rocked her, and was kissing her face when she turned to look at me and then slapped me in the face again, and would have done so repeatedly had I not stopped her.

What is this about?

She doesn't do it to my husband nearly as much as she does it to me.  When she does it, I firmly say, "No", but she just thinks it's funny and will smile at me and try again.  After the second attempt, I usually help her clap her hands together.  Or bring over a toy and play with her.

The logical part of me thinks that this is just a developmental phase and once she understand fully that if you bang on an object you can make a sound, while the emotional side thinks she secretly hates me and slaps me on purpose.

She doesn't do it at daycare either.  Maybe she's trying to express herself and getting frustrated?  I did kind of slack off on the baby sign language.

Any tips?