Guess who got three positive OPKs???

THIS GIRL DID!!

I had the urge to POAS yesterday when I got home from work. And it was POSITIVE. I was shocked, I never ovulate this early. This morning, I took two more OPKs and they were positive as well. We did BD, but I'm not sure if the timing is right because we BD'd on Sunday. Either way, I'm just happy to get a positive OPK. Things are going so great right now.

This is a pic of my DH when he was little. It just melts my heart. I can't wait to have his babies!!!

Thank you!!

I just want to thank everyone for such kind words. It's funny for me to think that I started this blog and kept it private because I thought it would be helpful for me to express my thoughts without other people reading them. Now I know that I was SO wrong!! You all have made my day, I'm so happy and thankful that you reached out. I feel better than ever. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Live life to the fullest

After my friend passed, I've come to a new realization about life. Seeing how quickly things can change, made me wake up a bit. I've been down in this dump after my miscarriage, teetering between wanting to try again and being too scared.

I'm going to live life to the fullest. I want a child, so I will do everything in my power to have one. That means, stop being so afraid. I think my husband was concerned that I may not want to try after what happened to Aja. I will NOT let fear get in the way. I've done that for too long. I started with the Robitussin again this month, as well as vitamin B6 and red raspberry leaf tea. My body went through so much with the miscarriage, that I feel compelled to help it out. I've also been drinking gobs of water to ensure that everything is hydrated. Positive thinking, positive results. That's my motto! Trying to stay stress free. Relax, relate, release!

Heavy Heart

I have such a heavy heart today. One of my friends, Aja Epps, passed away. I met Aja about five years ago, through my older sister. Aja had lupus, which took a turn for the worst once she became pregnant with her first child. Unfortunately, Aja had to stop taking her medication during the first three months of her pregnancy, and it caused the lupus to spiral out of control. Her baby girl didn't survive because Aja's body could not produce enough nutrients to sustain life. Aja developed a blood infection, experienced kidney failure, heart failure, extreme swelling. This morning, she lost the battle.

I am SO sad. She was such a lovely, vibrant person. And her husband is not only going to have to grieve his wife, but his baby girl. We are trying to support him, and the rest of Aja's family as best as we can.

I have no more words....

Yay Me!

I'm SO proud of how my blog turned out. It came out much better than I expected. I'm so excited about, it makes me want to blog even more. Yippee!!!

Updating blog layout

Please bear with me while I work on updating my blog layout. Thanks! :-)

Going to try this month....

This is no April Fools joke.

I'm seriously thinking about trying this month. But I have no idea when/if I OV'ed. Hopefully I haven't OV'ed yet and I can still catch that eggy. Please pray for me!!

Yup, I'm a CRIER!!

I'm a crybaby. I believe it would be accurate to say that I've always been one. It's been my thing since birth. When I was a teenager, I could hold my tears and push them away, allowing them never to see the light of day. Oh how I wish I could do that again. Nowadays, I can go a long time without crying. Weeks, months, heck, I can go HALF a YEAR without shedding a tear. But every now and then, a girl needs a good cry.

My husband never understands when I say that. I'll tell him, "I need a good cry right now, I'd feel so much better." And he'll stare at me with this look of bewilderment, and shake his head. That's foreign to men, they usually only cry at EXTREME moments. Everything else can be thought through with no emotions involved. Women are different. Sometimes, our emotions cloud our thoughts to the point that we need to cry to release it all. And cry we do....

Today is a "cry" day for me. I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I'm overwhelmed, I need a hug, and a prayer, and to CRY!!!!

Hopefully my husband can be sympathetic to my feelings today and help me out, but if not, I know shedding a few tears will help me get back on track...

My best friend

I believe that a best friend is one of the most important things in life. And I'm talking about a TRUE friend. Someone that is honest with you, is proud of you when you accomplish something, cries with you when your heart is broken, listens to you try to figure out what you want to do and where you want to go. Someone who actually LIKES you, and doesn't secretly hate you or envy you, etc.

My best friend is Roxane. And boy oh boy, I don't even remember life without her! We're so much alike, yet we're so different. She's like the sister I was supposed to have, and I'm glad I have her now. She recently moved to Indiana, and I miss her terribly! My workout partner/bookstore buddy/Godiva Chocolatier guru is almost 5 hours away. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Sometimes you don't really know what you've got, until it's gone.

I want to plan a trip to visit her soon, I'd drive through MOUNTAINS to see that girl if I had too, I swear!

On the TTC tip, I'm still on a break. I've been on SUCH a roller coaster ride of emotions lately. One minute I HAVE TO HAVE A BABY OR I'M GOING TO SCREAM, and the next I'm not too sure about it. I think that the latter comes from doubt. I'm seriously doubting my body right now, and I'm trying to work on that. I've been eating better, working out, and just trying to take care of myself. Hopefully my emotions will fall in line soon. My husband is constantly talking about babies. It's so cute in a way, and then it's another reminder that we don't have any. But the good things in life are worth waiting for. I just have to keep reminding myself that...

Must be PMS.....

So the coworker that I thought might be pregnant, isn't. Whew! Big ole' sigh of relief here. I just don't think I could've handled that. It really sent me over the edge.

I've been feeling so down and weepy and frustrated lately. It must be PMS. I think my husband is STILL convinced that I'm preggo. Poor dear, he has so much faith in my imperfect body. He just doesn't realize that pregnancy symptoms and PMS are practically one in the same. Oh well, when I turn into a real witch once AF arrives, he'll see.

Ever since my MC, I've noticed an achey, pulling sensation in my sides. I had this last month and thought I was pregnant, because they were one of the first pregnancy symptoms I had. But now I'm starting to get annoyed with them. They only come closer to the end of luteal phase. I have no idea what they are, but they are uncomfortable. Almost like really bad ovulation pains on both sides. I know I don't have any cysts, I had four ultrasounds when I was pregnant (two internal, two external). My results were normal. If they keep up, I'll have to make a trip to the doc.

We are going to OFFICIALLY be off of our break in May. Well, maybe I shouldn't say officially, it really depends on how I feel. I'll be back in school by then, and I may not have the energy to put into TTC. But for now, that's our plan. If we start trying in May and we aren't pregnant by December, then we'll ask the doctor for some assistance. But I have a feeling that we'll be just fine on our own.