They didn't mention this in the pregnancy books...

Of course I went out and bought all the pregnancy books once I found out I was pregnant. Well, many of them I already had, but a few new ones were added to the collection.

Every week my husband and I go through and read about what's going on with the baby, and my body. It helps keep us informed, and bond with the baby. We both knew I'd be emotional, possibly swollen, and gaining weight. But lately I've been feeling this overwhelming fear of something happening to my husband. I may have mentioned it before, but it's really bad today. Actually, lately it's gotten worse. It's to the point that if he doesn't answer his phone I completely freak out. If I can't see his chest rising and falling when he sleeps I wake him up. I can think about him and start bawling. Maybe it's my hormones preparing me to check on Bunny when she's born and make sure that she's okay. I'm not sure.

My husband usually drops me off at work so we don't have to pay for parking, and so I don't have to walk by myself to my building. It's POURING down rain today, the roads are bad, and I'm highly emotional. I'm freaking out about something happening to my husband during his drive to work.

I'm slightly concerned about this because it's so out of character for me. Usually my personality is laid back, and I don't get stressed very easily. So for me to get worked up over things that aren't even confirmed is kind of scary. And I think that fact that I watched 'The Time Traveler's Wife' on Monday made it even worse. I hope these feelings go away after Bunny is born, I can't imagine feeling like this forever...

25 weeks!!

How far along? 25 weeks! I'm SO excited to be at this stage in my pregnancy, and I feel very fortunate.

Total weight gain/loss: Still around 5 lbs, it's kind of hard to determine because my scale at home calculates differently than the scale at the Dr.

Sleep: Really good. When she moves around when I'm trying to sleep, it puts my mind at ease and I end up sleeping better. Not sure how long this will last, her kicks are getting stronger and stronger!

Food cravings: Still fruit, and cheeseburgers. Food has been sort of difficult this week because I have the GROSS taste in my mouth after I eat. My good friend GOOGLE says it's pretty normal during pregnancy (and I did have it in the beginning), but it makes me not want to eat sometimes.

Best moment this week: Interacting with my little girl. DH and I talk to her and sing to her, and she moves and kicks like crazy. I absolutely love it!

Movement: Oh yes! She's a ninja! Watching my belly move is my favorite past time. And her moving around makes me feel like she's doing okay in there.

Labor Signs: NO! I don't even want to think about this until 37 weeks... (this answer is going to remain the same until 37 weeks, lol!)

Gender: A little LADY!

Stretchies: Not yet, I'm still waiting. I heard that they just pop up out of the blue, so I'll just keep checking...

Belly Button in or out? Parts of it actually started to pop. It kinda freaked me out! You can kind of see it if I'm wearing a shirt that's really fitted.

What I miss: Not wishing time away. I want to focus more on enjoying pregnancy, it's such a special time, but I still have a HUGE fear of her being born prematurely. So every week that passes is like gold to me, and I find that I wish the weeks would pass by more quickly.

What I am looking forward to: Our baby shower!!! It's coming up, October 24th. We have the location all set, and the invitations are going out next weekend! I'm so excited! (But also secretly afraid that no one will show up.)

Symptoms: Frequent urination and increased appetite.

Milestones: Getting closer to the 3rd Trimester! Woo-hoo!!

Weekly wisdom: Take time out to appreciate each day. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Emotions: Anxious and nervous. The "unknown" really freaks me out. I feel so connected to my baby, and I already love her SO much that it causes me to worry about a lot of things. Especially prematurity. It's good that I'm informed and aware of the issues and complications, but at the same time, I wish I could clear my head. I was re-reading one of my favorite blogs: http://justincarl.blogspot.com/, my friend Georgina is the author and her son Justin was born 15.5 weeks early. Her story brings tears to my eyes. And the fact that Justin is here today makes me SO happy and fills me with so much hope. But it is also a dose of reality. Don't take anything for granted.

Hot apple cider and fresh donuts

Doesn't that sound yummy?

I LOVE this time of the year. Picking pumpkins, wearing soft fuzzy sweaters, sipping hot chocolate with whipped cream on the porch with friends.

When that First Response turned positive on April 17, 2010 it seemed like AGES until we reached September. At three weeks pregnant, my mind couldn't even fathom being 6 MONTHS pregnant. But here we are 24 weeks and counting, and I feel so fortunate!

This time of the year reminds me that in a little while I will be meeting my baby girl. The cooler the weather gets, the more frost that is on my windshield, and the fewer leaves that are on the trees all symbolize to me that my due date is fast approaching. To say that I'm excited would be an understatement.

With my ever expanding belly comes the ever expanding comments from random people. I'm trying accept the fact that this is just a part of pregnancy and that for the most part people don't mean any harm. But it does get quite frustrating. I never understood why pregnant women would get so out of sorts when people commented on their bump. But now I get it. It's hard to be hormonal, and see your body change, even if the change is welcomed. Then to have people make comments like, "WOW! You really popped overnight," or ,"OMG! You're going to be HUGE!," doesn't make you feel any better. And I'm fortunate that I'm still able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes and haven't gained much weight. But the comments still come. And my feeling do get hurt at times. Especially on the days when I'm already feeling self-conscious and my stomach feels like it's about to burst. Hearing about how I'm getting "bigger and bigger" can be like a slap in the face. But I'm getting tougher. My belly has a purpose, it's protecting my most valued possession until she is ready to make her debut. So I just smile and nod, rub my belly, and thank God for my precious bundle of joy.

Happy V Day!!! And 24 week update.

Happy Viability Day to my sweet baby girl! 24 weeks marks the point that Bunny would have a greater chance of surviving if she were to be born prematurely.

It feels SOO good to have reached one of my goals, now I just have three more hitting 30, 34, and then 37 weeks. We can do it!!!


How far along? 24 weeks! Yeah!! I've been waiting for this day for a long time!!

Total weight gain/loss: 5 lbs since the beginning of my pregnancy.

Sleep: Great this week. I have had to get up to use the restroom more frequently, since Bunny likes to kick my bladder. And she always has the hiccups at night, but it's so cute!

Food cravings: Still fruit, and cheeseburgers.

Best moment this week: Hitting 24 weeks, and getting a good report from the doctor on Friday.

Movement: They are getting stronger. I notice her hiccuping, and she kicks my bladder a TON. But it lets me know that she's okay in there, so I don't mind it.

Labor Signs: NO! I don't even want to think about this until 37 weeks... (this answer is going to remain the same until 37 weeks, lol!)

Gender: Girl!

Stretchies: I'm still in the clear, let's see how long it lasts.

Belly Button in or out? In... kind of... everyone says it looks like it's going to pop out any minute.

What I miss: Not being so grouchy. I get irritated so easily, especially when I'm hungry. But other than that, nothing.

What I am looking forward to: Getting her room ready, and having the baby shower.

Symptoms: Grouchiness and frequent urination.

Milestones: Viability!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekly wisdom: Sorry, nothing this week...

Emotions: Anxious, but excited. C'mon December!!

23 week appointment

Bunny and I had our 23 week check up today. It was really simple. I thought that they would have me give a urine sample or something, but they didn't. My midwife told me that it's time to sign up for childbirth classes. Eek! Me? Childbirth classes? It seems so surreal.

Everything was great during the appointment. Bunny's heart rate was in the 160's. My baby bump is measuring 24 cm, (which is awesome), and they scheduled my 1 hour glucose test.

Oh, and my total weight gain this pregnancy is 5 pounds!! So I did gain something. Which make me feel so much better. So all is well. Thank goodness!!

I'm off to search for childbirth classes in my area, I hope everyone has a great weekend!

23 Weeks!!

How far along? 23 weeks! Yeah!! One more week until I hit my goal, I'm so happy. (Which is 24 weeks, and my next goal is 30 weeks, then 34 weeks, then 37 weeks.)

Total weight gain/loss: I will find out for sure at my appointment on Friday.

Sleep: Pretty good. It's hard laying on my left side all the time because my legs start to get sore. But it's best for baby, so it's okay with me! All it takes for the soreness to go away is for me to roll over to the other side.

Food cravings: Fruit! Cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberries, yum!

Best moment this week: Spending some quality time with my baby girl on Saturday. It was great! I've really started to try to interact with her more, and it seems like it keeps the worries/anxieties at bay.

Movement: Definitely! Her kicks are getting higher and higher in my belly. I want to get it on video soon, you can see the movement so clearly.

Labor Signs: NO! I don't even want to think about this until 37 weeks... (this answer is going to remain the same until 37 weeks, lol!)

Gender: A princess!

Stretchies: Still none, I've been slathering on body oil and creams to the point that my shirts stick to my belly.

Belly Button in or out? The top of my belly button has started to poke out a bit, I'm sure it'll all pop out soon.

What I miss: Not a thing! Matter of fact, I was able to button two pairs of my regular jeans over the weekend! It was awesome, I tried them on again today and they still fit, I guess my belly has move up just enough for me to zip and button them. Feels great!

What I am looking forward to: Getting her room ready, my baby shower, and hitting 24 weeks!

Symptoms: Nothing major to report this week.

Milestones: Per my "What To Expect When You're Expecting" book, I've entered my 6th month!!

Weekly wisdom: Interact with you baby during pregnancy, it helps make things feel more real.

Emotions: A lot better. I made it through the emotional storm I was in, and now my focus is on getting ready to meet my baby girl.

22 weeks 4 days

Just a quick post of some pictures that I took today. Bunny and I had a great day. We read, watched TV, ate a whole pack of cinnamon graham crackers, and went shopping! I started to crochet a blanket for her, hopefully it'll be done in time. We went to JoAnn's so I could pick up some more yarn. Oh, we also went to the movies. My husband and I love going to matinee showings, it was so much cheaper and we even upgraded to premium seating and still saved money. Woo-hoo for budgets! LOL!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Family Bonding

There is nothing better than quiet afternoons spent laying in bed with my hands on my belly, bonding with my baby girl. Talking to her, singing to her, feeling her kick and tumble... It brings tears to my eyes.

Thank goodness for tomorrow, I plan on having a lazy Saturday. I may take a trek to the bookstore and purchase a few children's books so I can lounge on the couch and read stories to my sweetie pie.

After a careful scrutiny of my feelings and emotions, I came to the realization that this pregnancy still is not 100% real to me. And by that I mean, it seems too good to be true at times. Life isn't meant to be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop, it's meant to be LIVED. And that's what I plan to do. Starting with embracing my belly, and the little person that resides inside. She IS real, she IS alive, and she IS my daughter. Planning and preparing for her arrival won't jinx that.

The author of one of the blogs that I follow recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy. She spent her ENTIRE pregnancy living in fear that something was wrong. From the moment she found out she was pregnant, she feared for the worst. And it became obvious that she was not enjoying this special time. It really opened up my eyes. This should be a moment that is both enjoyed and celebrated. A new life is underway. And I'm so grateful.

I pat, rub, and caress my belly everyday. I want her to know that I'm here, that I care, and that she's safe.

Worry, worry, worry...

It all started on April 17, 2010. The day that my First Response pregnancy test came back positive. That day will go down in history, and is often played like a movie in my head. There was no way that my mind thought that pregnancy test would be positive, but there it was, with the faintest of a second line telling me that there was indeed something growing in my belly.

What a wonderful day!

Since that day, everything worries me. When my doctor requested to monitor my beta levels, the worry came. "What if they don't double? What if they're too low? What if it was a chemical pregnancy?" All of those thoughts ran through my head. When my beta levels didn't quite double and my doctor called in an early ultrasound for me, the worry set in again. But low and behold, everything was fine.

Remember the minor freak out that commenced before my 11 week appointment? Every muscle in my body was tense because the worry of wondering whether or not the heartbeat would be detected was freaking me out. But low and behold, everything was fine.

And then the Doppler was purchased. My mind was put to ease as that little "lub-lub-lub" sound was so easily heard. All of that worrying, and my baby was still safe and sound.

Fast forward to the AFP testing (which tests for Down Syndrome and Spina Bifida)... more worries, more freak outs, negative results, all was fine. And it was confirmed that Bunny was okay during the 18 week Fetal Anomaly Survey.

My heart is so involved in this pregnancy, that at times worry can't be evaded. I love Bunny more than I could have ever imagined. My nights are spent dreaming about her, my days are spent enjoying her move around in my belly and getting things ready for her. The thought of something happening to her makes me feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Which brings on my most recent worry: Prematurity.

The internet can be both a gift and a curse. I know too much about prematurity and micro-preemies, NICU's, nasal cannula's, feeding tubes, heart defects, eyesight problems, etc. In the days that I was researching everything (after a friend of mine gave birth to her daughter at just 23 weeks, and yes she did survive and is 7 years old today), I felt empowered. I knew what to expect. But now I feel overwhelmed with fear at times. It creeps into my mind and heart like a thief in the night. One minute I'm fine, daydreaming about kissing a full term chubby cheeked baby, and the next I'm freaking out and concerned that I'm going to go into early labor.

The reason behind this post is just to get all of my feelings and concerns out, and remind myself that a worry over a certain issue does not mean that the issue will become a reality. And I honestly think it's a part of motherhood. I'm concerned about my baby's well being, and I try to think that it's a good sign. Her needs already supersede my own. I'm changing. I'm becoming a Mom, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

All I know is that I pray for my sweet baby girl every single day. I want her to be safe, and healthy, and to know that she is loved. After all, she is my dream come true.

22 Weeks!!!!!

How far along? 22 weeks!! Only two more weeks until I get to cross off another milestone! (Which is 24 weeks, and my next goal is 30 weeks, then 34 weeks, then 37 weeks.)

Total weight gain/loss: Still up. People still can't believe that I'm nearly 6 months pregnant though...

Sleep: A little better, still having wacky dreams, but I guess it's just a part of pregnancy.

Food cravings: Oddly enough, coffee. I'm not a coffee drinker at all, but it's been sounding SOOO tasty! I haven't indulged this craving yet though.

Best moment this week: The look on my husbands face when he saw my belly move. And planning my baby shower. I can't wait!

Movement: TONS! This week she was REALLY active, her kicks are getting harder.

Labor Signs: NO! I don't even want to think about this until 37 weeks... (this answer is going to remain the same until 37 weeks, lol!)

Gender: She's a princess! Truly, half of my closet space is gone already because of her. :-)

Stretchies: Not yet... please stay away!!

Belly Button in or out? Still flat, all the pregnancy books say it may pop soon.

What I miss: Being able to eat without getting indigestion. But it's not too bad.

What I am looking forward to: Hitting my next goal, 24 weeks. Only 2 weeks away!!

Symptoms: Indigestion, hunger, weepy, tired, and easily irritable.

Milestones: Just making it another week, I'm so thankful for each week that passes.

Weekly wisdom: It is not a good idea to eat a whole bag of candy before bedtime, the baby gets a sugar rush and will keep you up all night.

Emotions: Still weepy. Happy things make me cry, sad things make me cry, I just turned into a huge cry baby. But it's so worth it!

Belly pic to come!