I survived!!

My first week back at work, that is.

To be honest, it really wasn't what I thought it would be.  I was prepared to miss Yorlee, and I was prepared to feel out of the loop and want to go back home with my baby.  But I wasn't really prepared for the GUILT that I felt for leaving her behind.  I kept thinking, 'what if she cries and they can't console her?', or, 'what if she still doesn't take the bottle?'.  Come to find out, it was harder for me than it was for her.

Today marks the start of my second week back, and I can tell that working full time isn't something that I want to do anyways.  I'm starting to seriously look for a part time job, and now the fire is under my butt because my job did their two year credit checks and decided to question me about a delinquent account that showed up on my credit report FIVE years ago.  Which was before I even started working there, so now I have to plead my case, or I'll get fired.  I know that my credit has to remain in good standing in order for me to keep my job, and I've been paying everything on time.  I didn't think it would come down to one super old account that I disputed and thought I settled, but they are stating that I still owe them money.

Great....

I don't get how it was okay to have it on there when I was hired, but now it's a problem.  But, you can't control some things.  And it just reaffirms the fact that I wanted to quit so that I could work part time and stay home with my daughter.

Anyways, here's a recap of my first week back.

* I didn't cry!!  I was so surprised, but I guess I did a good job in preparing myself.
* She refused the bottle at first, but it was because I put the wrong nipple on it.  She is VERY particular.  Now she takes them like a pro.
* My milk supply has been up and down, but I'm still able to pump enough at work to fill her bottles for the next day.
* I look at her picture a million times a day.
* I worry about her WAY more than I used to.
* I'm stressed.  If it's not one thing, it's another.


But, all it takes is one look at my baby girl, and I know that things will be okay.  Pictures to come, this Mama is tired, Yorlee was up all night last night, and I get up at 5AM in order for us to be out the door by 6AM.